Monday, January 4, 2010

weight

I have the same thing on my mind like most people this time of the year. Weight loss! Then again, since having Ethan, weight loss has always been on my mind. I am not overweight. I am in a healthy weight range. However, in the last few months i have put on some weight. I am still healthy. I eat healthy most of the time. Why am i so concerned all the time about my weight?

Before getting pregnant with Ethan was i between 115 and 118. I ate whatever i wanted whenever i wanted. I was so excited to gain weight while pregnant with Ethan. I loved going to the doctor and see the weight go up! Heck one appointment in 2 weeks i gained 7 pounds. Weight total with Ethan was 43 pounds! I lost the weight fairly easy after Ethan. I weighed 123 when getting pregant with Brooke. To be honest...i thought i was big then. After Brooke, i lost all my weight while breastfeeding. When i quite breastfeeding, i put on weight. And in the past year i have put on some more weight. So...honestly is key for this blog. I weight 135. Yes, looking at the number i think, that isn't much. I would tell someone else, that isn't much. But for some reason i hate that number! For some reason i feel like the number somehow needs to be in the 120's.

My mom has gotten onto my several times, asking me why i am so obsessed 5 years later still about my weight. I honestly don't know. I am always talking about needing to lose weight and so on. I think my problem is i concentrate on my theighs. I hate them. That's where all my weight is. My theighs and butt. And for whatever reason, when i look in the mirror, i always concentrate on how a pair of pants looks on me in that area.

I didn't grow up with a mom who was always on a diet. I don't think she ever was. I hate that Brooklynn is growing up with a mother who is so concerned with her weight. I try not to talk about it around her, but i do. I hate being so darn concerned about it all the time. I can't go a day without thinking about it. So, now i confess, i have a problem!

So...i am going to do my absolute best to just be healthy. I will continue to work out but have decided to only weight myself twice a month. The wii fit wants you to weight yourself daily...and i think that is really screwing with my head. One day i am down two pounds and the next i am up three! For someone like me who seems to have gotten so obsessed with it over the years....its not good for me to get on everyday.

Happy New Year to all! To a year of getting healthy and not concentrating on the number on the scale. to looking at the image i see in the mirror as a beautiful woman with a loving and supportive husband and two wonderful children who warm me heart daily.

4 comments:

PixiKnits said...

Good luck staying focused on health rather than numbers! Weight should just give us a general idea of where our health stands. I notice that when I'm working out regularly, my waist gets smaller but my muscles (like my thighs) get larger, which I can tell by how my clothes fit. My weight stays nearly the same despite the obvious body changes. Just try to ignore the body test on the Wii and have fun with it!!

WolfeFamily said...

Thanks! i love my wii fit but hate the body test, lol.

Abby said...

I completely agree! Focus on being healthy, but today might be all we have so focus on LOVING the you that God made you to be for today! Goals are great- and your outlook seems really positive. You are gorgeous.

And- wanted to say thank you for always reading and commenting on my blog too. You are so sweet!

Angela said...

Rebecca,
I'm in the same boat. Almost the exact same story, even. I never worried about my weight. Except that now I'm at the upper 130's and that's pretty close to where I was 9 months preggo with baby #2. yikes! I understand completely. You've got to like how you look. I say change your mind set, if you're going to work on losing the weight, and focus on the end result, not on the "mess" you see in the mirror. When you look in the mirror, envision where you are headed. Then eat that way and exercise that way. Don't worry about the scale. When you look good in the mirror, you've reached your goal. I'm trying the Slim Fast meal plan and so far I've already lost three pounds in only a week and a half... 15-20lbs is SO do-able!